Lights Out

We had a power interruption last night, which lasted for almost three hours. Good thing the weather was a bit colder than usual so Sandy just played in the dark. When the lights went out, we didn’t have any emergency lights that we can turn on right away so we used our cellphones to find some. I’m amazed how Sandy can move quickly in the dark and still manage to get some toys when I myself struggle to go from one place to another. She’s not afraid of the dark and just kept on singing and dancing the whole time.

The sound of thunder brought back memories of our milenyo days when we had to stay in a hotel for five days! We had no power, no water and the phone lines were dead. That was one stressful week and I pray to God that we don’t ever experience that again.

Talkies

Sandy knows the complete lyrics to twinkle twinkle little star and she sings them all the time. Even if we taught her that song word for word because she usually jumps from one stanza to another, I still can’t get over the fact that she can sing an entire song now. She’s also gotten so talkative that we need to be careful on what we say in front of her. She copies it all and repeats it a couple of times as if memorizing the words. She even said “arte mo!” to her Papa after hearing me say it a couple of times. She usually repeats the words where she gets more reaction so we just try to ignore it if she says something bad.

It rained this afternoon and she kept on saying “Raining, raining!’. Then she pulled her Ate Arlyn’s hand so they can go outside. She was babbling nonstop on their way to the door and when I leaned closer, I found out that she wasn’t babbling. She was singing “rain rain, go away. come again another day, little sandy wants to play” over and over. I was shocked because I don’t remember practicing that song with her. We just sing it to her from time to time and now she can sing it without any problems at all.

Do-Followers Blogroll

Papa's Girl

She is. It’s sweet yet hard most of the time. Unlike me, hubby works in a real office and he’s out 10-12 hrs a day. I’m not really sure when it started exactly. She used to love only me! Haha. But now, Sandy wants to see her Papa all the time. When she wakes up, she’ll look on hubby’s bed and say “Papa, no more, opis” in a very sad voice. While playing then suddenly remembering something funny that she did with Papa, she’ll say “Papa, no more, opis?” in a hopeful voice. When she hears someone playing PS2, she’ll forcefully take my hand while saying, “Let’s call papa!!!” or “Go to Papa?”. Whenever she realizes that I’m not doing anything, she’ll make this “mukasim” face then cry and wail and shout until I give in and start “doing something”. And when I say do something, it means come up with several excuses why her Papa’s not here. She doesn’t want to hear the word “office” because that would mean there’s no way she can see him right that moment.

I find it sweet, really. Still, it breaks my heart a little that she gets sad and I can’t do anything to make her Papa appear. I can take the I’m-just-trying-your-patience wailings but the genuine I’m-so-sad-mommy cries are just so hard to bear.

On Time Machines

I’d like to think that I have the ability to time travel. My time machine could be anything; a whiff of familiar cologne, music from the past, the sound of raindrops or even the smell of newly painted walls. Yesterday, it was the taste of my mom’s cooking that brought me back to my high school days. I still don’t have a yaya so my mom came over yesterday and cooked one of my favorite dishes, which is chicken curry. It tasted exactly as I remember that when I went to sleep that night, I dreamt about my life when I was still a teenager. It felt so real and vivid that I wanted to stay in bed for a couple more hours just so I can go back to that time. I saw myself walking from school one late afternoon. The sun is so bright and the trees seem so tall and green. There was a soft breeze and I laughed when I saw this naked 5-year-old kid taking a shower on one of the fire hydrants. He looked so happy as if nothing can ever go wrong. I can relate to him. I am happy that afternoon, blissfully so. Just walking on my own, enjoying the sun, kicking some dried leaves and humming a song. When I reached our house, I saw that the living room was a mess. My mom is a dressmaker so fabrics and patterns are everywhere. I can hear the sound of her electric sewing machine and it made me ache a bit because it was that exact moment when I realized that I’m just dreaming. That I’m just watching a scene that already happened and will never happen again. I miss coming home to my mom. Everything seems so comforting around her. To her constant nagging on how I should help around the house more. To her beautiful singing whenever she’s in the mood. To her delicious cooking and endless stories about her struggles, pain and joys.

How I love to go back when I can. Wouldn’t you?

Helpless

Whew, the weekend was so tiring! We had a trial run with Sandy’s yaya. Sandy liked her a lot and I can see that she’s good in taking care of kids. Around 6PM, she asked if she can get the rest of her clothes from her house which is about 20 minutes away from us. Three hours have passed and still no sign of her. We figured she’s not coming back anymore. I can’t find any reason why, though. She just sent a text message to one of our helpers telling her that she can’t come back anymore because of personal problems at home. It sucks, really. We waited for her for one week and didn’t consider any other applicants only to find out that she never really wanted to work. Our househelp is also on leave for two days. Good thing my mom is coming over to help me with Sandy today so I can get something done at work. She’s always just a text away, you know.

Again, this really sucks. I hope we can find a replacement soon because I don’t know how I can put my work on hold any longer.

I am weak, weak, weak.

How do they do it? I’ve seen mothers wake up at 5am to prepare breakfast, take the kids to school and get ready to go to work via public transpo. Then after working for almost 10 hrs, they go home to prepare dinner and help the kids with their assignments yet still find enough time to talk to their husbands and have some quality cuddling. I guess they’re not called supermoms for nothing.

What are they taking? I need some. Even if I wake up 5x a night, it’s still no excuse why I’m so tired the whole day. Is it the heat? Is it the stress of having to deliver quality work when all I can do the whole day is think about sleeping? Is it Sandy’s constant need to play and sing and dance (which I love, btw) and breastfeed whenever she gets near my breast? I need some vitamins, vacation, serious pampering and whatnot.

How do you do it? I envy you, woman.

Lullaby

Did you see the commercial jingles of the candidates on TV? Well, they’re gone now but they are still fresh in Sandy’s memory. She loves them just as much as she loves any Barney song. Her top pick is the one from Manny Villar; it goes something like “Kay Manny Villar ka, sa sipag at tyaga….” It’s so hilarious seeing her dance to it. There are times when we’re playing and I will sing twinkle twinkle that she’ll say, “mama! sipa at tyaga!”. Then she’ll stand away from me, placing both her hands in front of her in preparation for the song. As soon as I start singing, she will laugh this oh-my-mommy-is-so-funny laugh and move her hands up and down while twisting her body downwards. Lately, she asks me to sing it to her at night. So obedient mommy will hum the manny villar jingle and lo and behold, she’s fast asleep in no time.

Weird kid. I love every minute.

We slept through the night

Yep. That’s right. I drifted off to sleep around 11pm and when I opened my eyes, the clock says 6am. I think it was Sandy’s way of saying Happy Mother’s day to me. I think she woke up a couple of times but too sleepy to do any damage lol. I just hope she can start doing it every night. Or at least three times a week.

I saw from a thread that mother’s day is a mom’s day off. I have to disagree with that. It was never a day off for me. In fact, I can’t remember ever having a day off. We are going to my mom’s house tomorrow morning and in the afternoon we will probably go out again to have dinner with my mom-in-law. The in betweens will be spent taking care of Sandy because we don’t have a yaya. And everyone knows how terrible (but sweet) Sandy has become so I’m sure she’s going to be a handful.

I wish someone will step up and say,”hey Joy you deserve a break. Why don’t you pamper yourself and get a massage or something?” I know I can do that. I mean, the massage thing. But I would most likely end up thinking how Sandy’s doing while I’m gone that I won’t enjoy the massage.

Yeah, yeah I’m whining. On the eve of mother’s day. I have all the right to do what I want coz it’s my day. Don’t get me wrong. I love every bit of being a mom. I do.

Cheers to all mothers

I found time to scrap after all.

No matter how old or how successful we are, we will always need our mothers.



journalling:
the first nights with sandy were so hard. i haven't had any sleep for three days and I hurt my back trying to breastfeed. when you visited the third day, I can't help but break down and cry. you laughed at me and told me that everything's gonna be just fine. this photo was taken the night you slept over so you can take care of sandy.

you were right. sandy has grown up so fast and i'm proud to say that i've gotten better as a
mom. still ... just because i'm a mom, doesn’t mean I won’t be needing my own mom anymore.


Happy Mother's Day to all mommies!