Sleepless nights are here again

Nights have been difficult for the past three days. I haven't been able to sleep for more than two hours and I feel like I'm gong to crash anytime soon. I felt my lower lip twitching yesterday morning and it scared me a little because I can't do anything to make it stop. I am still breastfeeding the little one (yes, at 19 months) and she has this habit of looking for my breast in the middle of the night. I know breastfeeding hormones are supposed to make me relax but all I can think about is how many minutes more before I can remove Sandy's mouth. She also loves to pinch my other nipple to help her sleep so you can just imagine why I can't just relax and enjoy the closeness just like what the baby books tell us. If she's not sleep-feeding, she's rolling on the bed or sitting up, trying to find a comfortable position.

I had a taste of heaven this morning though when my wonderful husband massaged my feet. I just love the guy. I fell asleep instantly, recharging myself for at least one more hour until the little girl wakes up and look for her dede again.

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Sandy hates her poop. How weird is that? The first time she saw it, she almost puked and I laughed really hard. I mean, we don't tell her it's yucky. In fact, we always clap our hands whenever she does number 2. What happened the next day wasn't funny though. She was eating when she suddenly had the urge to poop. When she saw her poop on the floor, she threw up her lunch. My poor baby. Sherwin said her ninang and lola from Tondo are like that as well. It's hereditary. Weird yes, but interesting LOL.

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Perhaps you're wondering why her poop was on the floor. For the past 2 months, she has been wearing panties, not diapers during daytime. Other than the obvious reason of cost cutting and saving the environment, we get to see how she acts before she pees enabling us to pick up cues. We also bought her a cheap potty trainer but being OC like her Papa, she doesn't want to see it dirty or wet so she just uses it for playtime. If she's in the mood, she says "mama wiwi" giving me enough time to carry her to the bathtub where she pees. There are also moments when you're carrying her and all of a sudden she will wiggle violently wanting to be put down. I found out that she just wants to pee and doesn't want to wet whoever it is that's carrying her. Amazing!

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Sandy’s yaya, Ate Shel is leaving us. I feel really sad because Sandy has grown to love her and she's very patient with Sandy's tantrums. We have tried to offer her an increase but she'd rather go home to her little girl so we really don't see any reason why we should convince her to stay. I just hope we can find a replacement for her soon and that she will take care of our little one as if she's her own child.

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Other factors why I couldn't sleep are:
- "day-dreaming" about our house
- wondering where I can find time to scrap Sandy’s baby photos
- thinking about the web designs that I have to make
- thinking about the designs I have made and if the clients liked them
- thinking about our future here in the Philippines (what with manny pacquiao, richard gomez and cesar montano running for office)