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Wednesday, May 09, 2007

One toddler bed please!

I've been neglecting my roles as a wife ever since Sandy came to our lives. Sherwin seems to understand but I know that there are times that he's feeling a bit left out or needs some attention as well. I don't prepare his food, pick his clothes, remove his shoes or give him a massage when he's tired. It's not that I don't want to; I just simply don't have the time. Taking a bath for more than 5 minutes is impossible, let alone fussing with my husband's stuff. It's only now that Sandy's a bit older that we get a chance to spend time alone again. That's why I never want him to miss dinner or breakfast on weekends because those are the times that we get to sit down and talk about what's happening on our lives. I miss my husband, I really do.

We are co-sleeping which means Sandy is always in the middle and since the little one moves a lot, poor hubby has been sleeping in a folding bed beside us. I used to love reaching out for him in the middle of the night. Now, if my body is still not tired from breastfeeding and working, I might try to stand and lie down on the other side of the bed just so I can touch any part of his body. If I'm lucky, he'd still be awake and we will snuggle together in his folding bed that might break anytime, while we talk about our day, catch up on gossip or just, you know.

I think he will agree when I say we've never felt this tired. We never seem to have enough energy at night. We feel really old that we can't stay up to 11PM. And when Sherwin is tired, he snores, a lot. When he snores, Sandy wakes up and the whole bedtime routine starts again. I never get to sleep at night. I have to watch and nudge hubby when he snores and most often than not, he does it the whole night until 6AM. Last night, I had to wake him up so he can transfer to the other room. I felt bad doing it but I've been awake for 19 hrs and I need to catch up on my sleep. It's hard for me to watch him stand up, groggily finding his way out. I'm just lucky he is who he is and that he understands and supports the parenting style that we chose.

Like I said, I miss him so much. We are just hoping that Sandy will sleep in her own bed, if not in her room when she reach her 2nd year so hubby and I can get to know each other again. ;)

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